cumbermyspock:

I FINALLY caught this on camera!

32 notes

cumbermyspock:

So there’s this floor-to-ceiling mirror at work and I was just polishing it and I sprayed the windex too high and now my short ass can’t reach it.

Shit.

Looks like you need some moon shoes.

10 notes

Dad on cultural appropriation. (conversation was in Spanish)

  • Me: Hey Dad, I have a question
  • Dad: Alright, lets see if it's within my reach
  • Me: What do you think of cultural appropriation?
  • Dad: what?
  • Me: Cultural appropriation.
  • Dad: I think you mean acculturation.
  • Me: yeah, I do. But I was using the term the Social Justice Morons use.
  • Dad: It's a necessary part of being human, you can't just keep the one culture all of your life!
  • Me: So how offended would you be if a bunch of white people started speaking Spanish?
  • Dad: Offended? I would be glad, at least they speak my language!
  • Me: What if a white guy made tacos?
  • Dad: what kind of taco? why would I be offended? Did I invent it and patent it?
  • Me: Nope, just an ordinary taco made by a white guy.
  • Dad: Why would I be offended? It would like a German guy getting offended because I grilled a hamburger
  • Me: Well, because it's a Mexican food, it was discovered and is integral to Mexican culture. What if a white person doesn't respect the history of the taco.
  • Dad: When the woman who first created a taco did that, did the Angels descend from heaven with a deed and a copyright form signed by God informing us that only Mexicans can make it?
  • Me: Nope. It's just a taco.
  • Dad: Precisely, it's a taco, eat it. I would actually be happy for that white guy, tacos are pretty good.
  • Me: What if Tyler wanted to celebrate El Dia de Los Muertos? On his own?
  • Dad: Tell him to pace himself the skulls are made of pure sugar.
  • Me: What if he wanted to celebrate El Dia de la Independencia?
  • Dad: Culture is not something handed to you by God to protect and nurse, it's just something that happens to you, and when you think you have it figured out, it changes. That's what cultures do. They change. You know what these people are trying to do, right?
  • Me: Yeah,
  • Dad: They want us all to hate each other and not speak to each other. They want us Mexicans in Mexico, Afro-Americans in Africa, Asians in Asia and none of us talking or being nice to each other. With no resources, no trade, no rights, and only the one language that only we're allowed to speak so that we can't communicate with anyone outside. And that's after they'd kill off all the white people. They're like the KKK, if the KKK didn't have balls.
  • Me: I arrived at the same conclusion.
  • Dad: Make yourself a coffee.
  • Dad:
  • Dad: Just be sure it's Mexican *laughs*

59,850 notes

volunruud:

every time i do it makes me laugh

volunruud:

every time i do it makes me laugh

49,273 notes

stupidoomdoodles:

today on every dbz episode ever made

stupidoomdoodles:

today on every dbz episode ever made

13,171 notes

curiosity-discoverer-of-worlds:

officialhamlet:

i want realistic modern fantasy like

someone finding a dragon egg and livetweeting the process of trying to hatch it (with no prior knowledge on how a dragon egg should be hatched)

a guy selling an enchanted sword on craigslist

a tattoo artist who does spell runes but for really mundane stuff like conjuring a bound demonic pen or for summoning your keys

summoning a demon for the vine

selfies with mermaids

prank calling wizards

My first thought is “Demon Cam”!

118,637 notes

reekosuavay:

yungterra:

grawly:

grawly:

grawly:

im laughgin imagine an actual spongebob/evangelion crossover

image

*spongebob voice* im so fucked up……….. DAYAYAYAYAHAHAHAHA

Asuka: SHINJI WOULD YOU KEEP IT DOWN I NEED TO PRACTICE FOR MY CLARINET RECITAL

i eva, you eva

he she me eva

IT’S FIRST GRADE SHINGEBOB

8,045 notes

lumos5001:

amazingpeetaisnotonfire:

sluttynuggets:

aphtaiwan:

johnhamishmorstan:

I don’t understand american school years what the fuck is a freshman or a sophomore why do you have these words instead of the numbers

what why would you use numbers

so IT FUCKING MAKES SENSE WHAT THE HELL IS A SOFT MOORE OR A FRESH MAN WHY ARE THE MEN FRESH

image

America makes no sense, as usual.

bless the person that actually made the chart

May I add that in Canada we start with Kindergarten and then go Grade 1, Grade 2, etc. until Grade 12 and we graduate. 

(Source: vexingholmes)

546,126 notes